things have gotten super weird.

Well, things have gotten super weird since I last posted. If you don't know what I'm talking about, I assume you've been taken captive by minions and locked in an underground freezer for the last couple of weeks. I don't know about you, but I daily bounce between THIS IS THE END OF THE WORLD to It's fine. We are fine. This will be fine.

I told Jordan that God has answered my prayer about being a stay-at-home mom in a really strange way. I've been thrust into the SAHM life with three small children, and all I can say is that I'm taking it one day at a time. I would be lying if I didn't say that selfishly (completely selfishly, I know), I'm really upset that this whole thing has in one sense completely ruined my entire maternity leave.

Instead of lazy mornings cuddling my newborn, zoo trips, and mid-day playdate with friends--all things I cannot do during a normal work week--I'm trapped in my house, running around like a crazed chicken drowning in dishes and pretzel crumbs. I can't even go to the playground! So we are taking off our clothes and painting, and I'm trying to be calm, but this kind of activity stresses. me. out. Anyone else? No chill with messes over here.

There are a lot of sad things happening right now, and one of those is the fact that women giving birth are only allowed one support person in the hospital (their partner), and in some states now I'm seeing that they aren't allowing anyone at all. There is no right answer. I actually get why they are wanting to do this. With limited protective equipment such as masks, it really is important to limit the spread and the amount of people entering the hospital, both for the sake of the medical staff and any sick patients. But that doesn't change the fact that it's heartbreaking for any mama preparing to give birth, and I honestly can't imagine not being able to have even my husband in the room with me to witness the birth of his child.

I love the photos from our Fresh 48 hospital session after F was born, and I'm now even more grateful we had those taken since if I was giving birth now, it wouldn't be allowed! I printed a few on canvases for the nursery and hung them above the crib, and I am just so extra thankful to have them.

Another sad fallout from all of this (again, among so many sad things) is for brides who have been planning weddings for months that they are having to postpone. My little sister was nearly one of those! She has been planning her March wedding for over a year, and her Dallas venue was closed and the governor of Texas was implementing shelter in place. Long story short, they decided they weren't postponing and were going to get married one way or the other. In just under a week they moved the wedding date up, changed venues, cut the guest list, and got married! 

My mom called me at 2pm and said, "Your sister is getting married tomorrow, can you guys get down here?" I immediately put on a movie for the big kids (thankfully F was napping!) and ran around the house frantically for the next two hours packing and cleaning. Why does adding one small baby to the car mean adding 800 more bags? Good grief. At 6:00 we loaded up the mini van and took our first road trip to Texas as a family of five. 

The kids did great in the car and at the wedding. R was the sweetest flower girl, J wore the cutest vest, and I carried F in the Moby wrap and no one touched him all night. I'm so so thankful they were able to get married before all of this craziness really started spiraling.

The bright side to being at home all day is that after almost a full year of "potty training," J has decided he wants to go to the potty on his own without me having to prompt him every 45-60 minutes all day long. I don't know what changed, but it's like a flip was switched and now he's all, "Leave me alone. I do it by myself." God bless him. He's still having a few accidents here and there, but in general I feel like I can finally see the light at the end of the pull-up tunnel.

F is almost six weeks old and the sweetest ever. We think he looks more like R than J, but he does have a look all his own. He's not really on a schedule yet, mostly because I'm too preoccupied and busy with the older two to pay attention to what time he's eating or how long he's napping. But he's gaining weight and working on tummy time, and that's really all that matters. He weighed 8lbs 6oz at birth, and at his one-month checkup he was 10lbs 10oz!

When I was nursing R, I was obsessed with getting her on a schedule and keeping track of how long she was eating on each side. I had an app with a timer and a notepad and everything. I really appreciate the perspective and, in some ways, chill that comes from having more than one kid. I think back to those early days with R and LOL at my crazy self. I feel so much less stress about all of the baby things, and it's really nice, especially since these days I have so much else to stress out about!

Since we can't go the park or the zoo or science museum, etc. (and it's SO sad because R has started asking about why we can't go places; she currently thinks everything is "closed because it's being cleaned"), I've been trying to get outside as much as possible. It rained pretty much all day for over a week straight, which is very strange for Oklahoma weather, so that was a bummer, but lately we've been getting out for walks, and earlier this week I got our splash pad out of storage from last summer. The kids were pumped. Vitamin D really is good for the soul.

I honestly wish I had more time to blog because I have tons of photos I want to share, and I feel the hole in my creativity lately... unless you count trying to creatively think of ways to keep two small children entertained all day long or how to creatively use our food to minimize trips to the grocery store. I have just a few weeks left of maternity leave, and I'm honestly just trying to take one day at a time. The Bible says that each day has enough trouble of its own, and I don't know if I've ever felt that so strongly as I have the last few weeks.

I hope you are well, friends. 
Wash your hands. Hug your husband and your kids. 
Stay home.

A Snapshot of Summer

The problem with not blogging as often as I used to is that I get backed up on events and photos to edit and share about. And that's less annoying for you than it is for me, truly, because I actually do enjoy editing a few of the hundreds of pictures I take and making sure some of them see the light of day. Because there are so.many.pictures.

Does anyone else get overwhelmed with pictures? I find a daily struggle with trying to enjoy the moment without feeling the need to capture it while also wanting to capture it because it's so cute and hello I can't rely on my memory to hold everything in. I am 32 now, after all ;)

R is turning 3 in just about 3 weeks, and I am finally at a stage in my parenting journey where holidays and events are fun. Like, actual fun not just "let's take our 9-month-old baby to this thing they don't care about at all and pretend like they will actually remember whether or not they had a good time." 

I don't mean that to say you shouldn't take your 9-month-old baby to stuff. But what I'm saying is, whenever I see someone post on Facebook about what they should get their infant for Christmas, I want to say WHATEVER YOU WANT BECAUSE THEY DON'T CARE. I wouldn't shout, of course. But you get the idea.

Anyway, my actual point here is that R has been totally aware of and into the recent holidays and it's been awesome. Seeing life through a child's eyes and all of that. On Valentine's day, Jordan took her to the store to get groceries, and she helped him pick out some flowers for me. They came home, and she raced in holding red roses, shouted "Happy Valentine's Day!" and threw them at me. Half the flowers lost all their petals, and Jordan and I laughed about it all night.

This summer has been so fun because she is excited about everything. During the first of June, I took her to swimming lessons at our community pool. I bought her a coverup to wear, and she's been obsessed with it all summer so far. We also had such a better experience than last year. Last year was a struggle to get through the entire half-hour lesson without her waving her arms and widely signing "all done" through tears. This year she asked every day, "Are we going to swimming lessons today?" and then talked all about how she was learning to kick and blow bubbles and practiced wearing a life jacket. I didn't think she'd enjoy it that much or I would have signed her up for a second session.

I don't have a ton of days off this year because our trip to Europe this fall is taking most of them (such a rough life, I know), but I did take off a half day on J's birthday. I left R at daycare and picked him up at lunch so we could spend the afternoon together. And I know what you're thinking. I just ranted about how infants don't care about things like this, but that afternoon was 100% not for him. It was for me. We went home and I held him for a nap because I don't get to usually. When he woke up we went out on the back porch to play in the kiddie pool before going back to daycare to get R early and head home to cook dinner. It wasn't fancy, but it was special for me and I'm thankful I was able to do it.

My great-aunt and uncle live in Oklahoma City and have the best backyard I've ever seen. Last weekend we went over there to swim on Sunday afternoon. It's been so hot here lately, but that afternoon was one I didn't want to end. The wind chimes sounded like a musical, the pool was the perfect temperature, and there were popsicles and homemade banana nut cake. It was one of those days where you're just thankful to be alive, and you don't even care if that sounds cliche or not.

At this point I've given up thinking I'm ever going to write a separate blog post about my cousin's wedding we went to in June, so I'll just share some pictures. I found J an adorable pair of jeans and suspenders from H&M off someone on Kidizen, and R and J had a matching bowtie/pigtail combo. Of course, I couldn't get them to sit still for a picture together, but I've (sort of) made my peace with the fact that getting an almost 3-year-old and a 1-year-old to sit still for a picture just isn't going to happen.

There weren't a ton of small kids at the wedding, and it's not an exaggeration to say that R put on quite a show. She was dancing to the beat of her own music while the adults got drinks and took pictures, and I got a few comments like, "Well she certainly isn't shy..." My girl loves to sing and dance! We didn't plan on staying until the end, but we ended up waving the bride and groom off with glowsticks around 10:30. J was a trooper but couldn't hang and eventually passed out around 9:45. My grandma held him while we danced and chased R around and took silly pictures in the photo booth.

The next day we played all afternoon at my aunt's pool and left for home around 5:00. We were worried the timing would be terrible for the kids, arriving home in time to put them to bed again, but they were so tired from our weekend festivities that they both fell asleep within 5 minutes of being in the car, slept the entire 3 hours back to Oklahoma, transferred from the carseat to bed, and slept all night until 7 the next morning!

A couple of weekends ago, Jordan and I went to another wedding, this time for friends of ours. Jordan was a groomsman, and I wore my new StitchFix dress that randomly matched his tie perfectly. For so long I was a little skeptical of StitchFix, and while I still think it can be a bit pricy, it is really fun to do every few months. Glad I kept the dress!

Between all of that, J of course turned 1 and had his birthday party and we also celebrated my brother's birthday in Texas at a fun waterpark. Then were was 4th of July, which R was SUPER excited about. Girlfriend could not get enough of the fireworks or of waving her mini American flag. Maybe I'll post some pictures of that soon!

Basically even though I'm working, it's been such a fantastic summer for us so far, and I feel so blessed and so thankful for it all.

Lucky #7

“Being in love is a good thing, but it is not the best thing. 

There are many things below it, but there are also things above it. You cannot make it the basis of a whole life. It is a noble feeling, but it is still a feeling. 

Now no feeling can be relied on to last in its full intensity, or even to last at all. Knowledge can last, principles can last, habits can last but feelings come and go. And in fact, whatever people say, the state called ‘being in love’ usually does not last. 

If the old fairy-tale ending ‘They lived happily ever after’ is taken to mean ‘They felt for the next fifty years exactly as they felt the day before they were married,’ then it says what probably never was nor ever would be true, and would be highly undesirable if it were. 

Who could bear to live in that excitement for even five years? What would become of your work, your appetite, your sleep, your friendships? But, of course, ceasing to be ‘in love’ need not mean ceasing to love. 

Love in this second sense — love as distinct from ‘being in love’ — is not merely a feeling. It is a deep unity, maintained by the will and deliberately strengthened by habit; reinforced by (in Christian marriages) the grace which both partners ask, and receive, from God. 

They can have this love for each other even at those moments when they do not like each other; as you love yourself even when you do not like yourself. 

They can retain this love even when each would easily, if they allowed themselves, be ‘in love’ with someone else. 

‘Being in love’ first moved them to promise fidelity: this quieter love enables them to keep the promise. it is on this love that the engine of marriage is run: being in love was the explosion that started it.”

-C.S. Lewis

an outfit that is basically a mullet

This weekend was a busy one! We went to a wedding on Friday for one of Jordan's cousins, and then on Saturday I took J with me to the wedding of a coworker. After being really nice most of the week, Friday was cold and overcast. At first I thought that was a huge bummer because it was an outdoor wedding at a barn, and I knew they weren't going to be able to get any awesome sunset shots or anything like that. But, the setting and the wedding colors and the grey sky are going to make for the most amazing photos. The wedding details were all so cute, and I'm obsessed with it. Jordan and I got married before Pinterest was really a thing (hi, I'm old), and weddings like this kind of make me wish I could do mine over again! So stinking cute.

Plus, hello man crush every day. I am trying to sort through J's clothes and see what we have in the next size up since baby sizes are so weird and he can randomly still fit into some 0-3 and some 6-9 and why can't all the stores just use the same sizing guidelines for the love of sewing. Anyway, I happened to find a green, button-down, collared onesie and a vest, and I basically couldn't handle the amount of hearts that exploded from my eyes. We did take a family shot also that was pretty good, but since I might end up using it for our Christmas card, I want to keep it under wraps for the time being. Suspense!

I have three loads of clean laundry to fold and could only find one pair of pants for J and they have a turtle on the butt, so his outfit is basically a mullet: business up front and part-ay in the back. R had a cute black dress on, but since it was kind of chilly outside she never took off her bright pink coat, so with her purple tights and pink shoes, she looked a bit like a character from Willy Wonka. 

On the somewhat literal bright side, since it was so gray outside and everyone was wearing blues and maroon, she was so easy to spot running around. That girl walked every.where. and Jordan and I took turns following her around while J fell sound asleep on the shoulder of one of Jordan's uncles. 

After skipping her nap on Friday (legit would not lay down or do quiet time of any sort), she ran and ran around the wedding until well after her bedtime. I was following behind her, when she suddenly took off sprinting across the field shouting something I couldn't quite understand. I caught up to her and made her stop and asked her where she was going. 

"I go home," she said. "I go home."

"Are you tired?" I asked her.

"Yes."

ABOUT TIME.

So we got Jordan and J (who had just woken up and gotten scared when he realized he was sleeping on a large stranger with a red beard and a bald head), said our goodbyes, and left. Because when the toddler tells you she's ready to go home and go to sleep, you do what she says.

that one time I tried to be a fashionable Instagram blogger

Two weekends ago, Jordan and I took R to a wedding. Or, more specifically, a wedding reception. The bride and groom had gotten married in Florida last month and had a reception back in Oklahoma for all the poor saps who couldn't afford to attend the beach nuptials.

I had a brand-new-to-me black dress that I was excited to wear for the first time. My sister-in-law gave it to me because it was, and I quote, "too big in the chest area." Which gave me a good laugh because obviously I'm not really the kind of person anyone ever says that about, but my sister-in-law is the definition of petite so anyway. Her loss is my gain (literally?).

Since I was wearing a cute dress and heels, and R was all fancy in her dress and bow, I told Jordan I wanted to get a picture of the two of us standing together. I tried to channel the fashionable bloggers on Instagram who line up against a wall holding hands with their toddler, and they're looking at each other all cute and stuff. You know the ones I'm talking about.

Well, I'm here to tell you those pictures are dumb. Do these bloggers glue their toddler to the wall or something? HOW DO THEY GET THESE PICTURES? R kept running away, and Jordan just kept saying, "I don't understand what kind of picture you want" while I stood against the wall and sighed.

All I want is for my 14-month-old to wear a dress and a bow and stand still against an aged brick wall in optimal outdoor natural lighting while holding my hand and looking up at me in adoration while I stare back at her wearing a dress and heels with perfectly styled hair and a designer handbag so I can post the non-blurry picture to Instagram and include 30 well-placed hashtags so the internet people can fawn en masse over our cuteness.

I just really don't think that's too much to ask for.

I took my baby to a wedding

Two weekends ago, my brother got married in Texas. Despite what the above looks like, R was actually a really good baby. But I find this picture hilarious because it's CLASSIC. Screaming baby while trying to take a family photo? Nailed it.

You all had some fantastic suggestions for a dress, and I actually went to Old Navy to find a wrap kind of situation, but then my mom pulled out this dress she'd found at a thrift store, and that was that. Jordan continues to be confused about how my mom and I, who are neither the same height nor body type, can wear each other's clothes. Or, more accurately, how I can wear my mom's clothes. But I'm not complaining. My mom has cute taste! Plus? Free. I don't think I need to say any more.

Now, this dress.

Not nursing friendly in the least, but that's the price I pay for fashion. I literally had to have someone unzip the back of the dress so I could crawl into the backseat of my parents' Durango and fold down the entire top half. Then, I had to slink back to the wedding without anyone seeing me until I found someone to zip me up again. #classy

And if you're thinking, She's exaggerating again, I assure you, I am not. You can just ask my cousin, who was the person who zipped me up the second time.

But anyway. R was an excellent wedding date, minus the above (rookie mistake to try to take a picture around feeding time), and since the majority of my family hadn't met her yet, she was the hit of the wedding.

I was not nearly as emotional about this wedding as I was about my other brother's last June, but it probably had something to do with the fact that I was too busy being nervous about my violin solo. I played "Here Comes the Bride" while Bethany walked down the aisle, not like that's a big wedding moment or anything. Apparently it sounded fine, although my dad recorded it on his phone and I listened to it and think it sounds terrible, so either I'm insane or everyone is lying to me. Neither option is particularly promising.

So there's another girl added to our clan now, and 3 of the 4 kids are married off. My grandpa puts together a family news that he mails out to everyone, and in it he said, "This concludes the marriages for Geoff's kids," and my sister was like, "I guess Grandpa doesn't think I'll ever get married..." Doomed to singlehood, that one. Grandpa has spoken.

The day went well for the most part, but I am still bummed that R decided she needed to eat right before my brother gave his best man's speech. I heard muffled laughter from the backseat of the Durango, but that was all. Womp.

Daniel and Bethany had a glow stick sendoff at the end of the night. Have you ever seen that before? I never had and didn't know how it would work, but it was really cool!

Jordan liked the glow sticks because they were much more low key than the sparklers my other brother used at his wedding last year. This time Jordan didn't have to worry about babysitting my grandpa, who almost caught a bush on fire with his sparkler.

We did also snag a decent family photo, and by decent I mean R is looking at Jordan like he just lit up the sky. Stinking cute is what that is.

All in all, I am pretty proud of myself for how well I handled taking a two-month-old baby to my brother's wedding. We stayed until 10:30 or so, and R dozed off while everyone was dancing, so apparently she takes after her mama and can sleep almost anywhere. She only got really fussy right before she needed to eat, but otherwise she just enjoyed be fawned over by the great-aunts and uncles and cousins. Everyone loves a cute baby.

R has now traveled to Texas three times in her young life. Hopefully we are training her to be a good traveler. Until next time!

6/12

*Project 12: A photo on the first day of every month in 2014*

January | February | March | April | May

Read

Amanda = 2 books

Animal Farm (not bad) | Divergent (pretty bad)

Traveled

June 5-6  Salt Lake City, Utah // Business trip (recap here)

June 20-22 Texas // My little brother got married! (see pics here)

Dates

We snuck one in at the last minute this month! 
On Saturday, June 28, we went to the Oklahoma History Museum and then to BWW for lunch.

(Remember how we're related to someone famous?)

Things that Happened in June Last Year

1. My mom's side of the family had a reunion at the lake house in Texas

-I took pictures of my grandpa in the grocery store

-I took a lot of other pictures too

2. I spent the weekend in Chicago

Notable Events

Did I mention my little brother got married? I'm still recovering.

* * *

Coming in July...

IT'S BIRTHDAY MONTH.

I already have a number of plans for the epicness that will be Amanda turning 28. For one thing, I called one of my friends a few nights ago and asked her to host a party for me. That's how I roll. For kicks, you can check out what I did on my birthday last year. I took pictures all day. Because obviously.

Also, Jordan turns 29 the week after my birthday. July is just full of birthday fun.

Runners Tell All is happening again on the 21st, so you will want to join in on that awesomeness.

Finally, I'll be taking a two-weekish blog and social media hiatus later this month, which I will announce so you aren't confused about why I've disappeared from the world.

Summer is in full swing, and I hope you're enjoying it so far! I know I am.

Until next month!

I'm Kind of a Big Deal. I Have Fans.

So last weekend my brother got married.

As tends to happen when a wedding occurs, extended family gathered to celebrate the nuptials, which meant I got to see my aunts and uncles and cousins and grandparents that I hadn't seen in a while.

For normal people, this type of family gathering usually means a lot of small talk. 

How's your job? Good. How's Jordan? Good. When are you going to give me my nineteenth great-grandchild? I don't know, Grandpa.

Luckily for me, I have a blog. Also lucky for me, and most importantly, the majority of my family reads it.

It's always fascinating to me when people say they don't tell anyone they know in real life about their blog, because I tell everyone I know in real life about my blog. I mean why not? It's basically free advertising, plus I'm hilarious of course, so really what I'm doing through my blog is bringing happiness to the people around me. And who doesn't want more happiness? (Hint: no one.)

The only thing that gets slightly awkward is when I do things like blog about getting my period on my business trip. But I just have to be okay with my grandpa knowing about my lady business. It's a good thing TMI really doesn't exist in my world.

Anyway, I do have a point here.

At the wedding, I saw my aunt Jeanine and aunt Jane. The first thing Aunt Jeanine said to me was, "I feel like I should ask for your autograph or something. It's like you're famous! I just love your blog." 

And I blushed and was like, "Oh yeah? Well thanks. I'm glad you like it." Humility is a lost art, you guys. I hope you're taking notes.

Then she was like, "I get so excited when I get an email about a new post." And I was thinking, Crap, I blogged about my period a few weeks ago. Awwwwkward. Oh well.

Aunt Jane was just as effusive in her praise of my brilliant writing skills AND bonus: I didn't have to update anyone on my life because everyone already knew about it from reading the blog! Boom.

At some point during the reception, I was running around taking very important pictures of stuff like this:

And I stopped by the table where my aunts were and said, "Let's take a picture together for the blog."

You seriously would have thought I'd just told them they'd won the lottery.

Aunt Jeanine was like, "OH MY GOSH I COULD GET ON THE BLOG?"
And I was like, "Sure if you give me twenty dollars."*

So, Aunt Jane (left), Aunt Jeanine (right), this one's for you. Because you're such fantastic blog readers, and I like to give my readers what they want.

Then my uncle Brian wanted in, because guys like blogging too.

And that's pretty much what happens now at family reunions.
It's crazy, you guys. I have fans.

I'm kind of a big deal.

___________________________

Now I'm curious:
Does your family know about your blog? Do they read it? Do you have fans?

*That was a joke. It's actually only ten dollars for a picture.

My Best Friend's Wedding: Justine & Curtis

Is it weird to anyone else to think about bloggers having real lives outside their blog? Like, I know you all have lives outside your blogs, but for some reason when I see pictures of bloggers hanging out with their friends, it always takes me a minute because I'm like, "Oh yeah, they have real life friends!" I don't know if that even makes sense.

Anyway, the whole point of saying that was to say what I'm about to say, which is that last weekend Jordan and I spent the weekend at a wedding of one of my best friends, of which I was a bridesmaid. 

You may remember Justine as the maid of honor in my wedding.

I surprised myself and didn't take too many pictures over the weekend. However, here are a few, mostly for the benefit of Justine, who is currently on her honeymoon in Hawaii but will be back soon and will want to see a few pictures before she can get the real ones back from her photographer.

This first one's just for fun. Justine and her niece, the flower girl. Crazy kid.

This was bridesmaid appearance #3 for me. It's so fun being behind the scenes with the wedding festivities!