Instead, Let There Be Thanksgiving

Last week it snowed for a hot minute and of course everyone freaked out. Oklahoma is famously confused about the weather. Two weeks ago R was frolicking about in the leaves, over the weekend we had snow, today it was in the upper 50s, and it's supposed to be highs in the 60s on Christmas Day, so basically I just don't know how to dress anymore.

December has been really busy for us, like it seems to be for a lot of people. We haven't even had that many parties to go to, so I'm not entirely sure what has been keeping us so busy, but I just feel like December has flown by. Two weekends ago we took R to North Pole City to pick out our Christmas ornament. Jordan and I have gone every December since we got married and chosen an ornament for our tree. I write the year on the back or bottom of the ornament so we can remember when we got them, and it's pretty much our only standing tradition. 

Last year was the first time to take R as a four-month-old, and let me tell you: carrying an infant in the Ergo is a whole different ballgame from chasing an infant around. That girl is crazy and into everything. It was hilarious and exhausting. I did manage to capture this family selfie.

R and I drove downtown one Saturday to meet a friend at the pop-up shops. Every December, local businesses host "pop-up shops" in these white domes they set up in the middle of downtown. They have music and there's a Christmas tree lot and food trucks and hot chocolate. It's one of my favorite things. R and my friend's daughter are about the same age, and the four of us sat and drank hot chocolate and ate mini donuts and it was so fun!

I've been trying to make an effort to hang out with people more. I am a social person who likes conversation (shocker, I know), and this year I've found myself craving in-person friendships beyond the texts and calls that pass back and forth between my very best friends who unfortunately live far away. It's also fun to see R actually starting to interact with other kids. A few days ago, I dropped her off at daycare and a little boy immediately ran up and said, "Hi, R---" and gave her a big smile and I nearly fell over. Cutest thing ever. Although I wonder what they think when all they get in return is a blank stare. We need to work on learning to say hello.

Jordan and I went on a date at the beginning of the month, our third since our anniversary in May. We have never been very good at dating, even before having a baby, but I do always enjoy when we get out for the evening. And then just this past weekend, we ended up going to see Rogue One at the last minute. Jordan's mom offered to watch R, and some other friends were already going, so we joined them and it was fun! I probably wouldn't be a Star Wars person, but I happen to be married to someone who loves them so I basically have no choice. It makes me happy to see him getting all geeked out about it, and trust me he geeked hard over the ending of this one.

There have also been some hard things too this month that have really been weighing on my heart, both on an international and national level. Closer to home, I have friends going through some really hard times with illnesses of family members, divorce, jobs, and a host of other things. And even on a more personal level, I've been struggling with a few things that have made it hard sometimes to feel very Christmasy. I'm sure some of you can relate. And yet, it's been such a good year too, with so much laughter and joy, and there are so many things to be thankful for.

And speaking of thankfulness, I think I found my verse for 2017. Someone mentioned it during a discussion at church on Sunday, and I immediately felt like it was one I wanted to memorize and try to live intentionally next year.

Ephesians 5:4 - "Let there be no filthiness nor foolish talk nor crude joking, which are out of place, but instead let there be thanksgiving."

There is a lot of foolish talk and crude joking on social media these days, and I don't want to have any part of that. And even more, I need and want to work on not having foolish talk in my own home regarding things I read or see online or things other people are doing. I know some people don't have a problem with this, but it's something I struggle with.

Instead, let there be thanksgiving.

For a quarter-inch of snow and mini donuts and Star Wars. For sunrises and sunsets. For conversations with good friends. And most of all, this Christmas, for Emmanuel, God with us. For grace upon grace, mercy without end.

Lamentations 3:22-24 - "For the steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning. Great is your faithfulness. The Lord is my portion, says my soul. Therefore I will hope in him."

If I don't see you (virtually speaking, of course) until after Christmas, I hope you have a joyous one! 

*And here are a few posts I want to write for the end of the year/beginning of next year just so you know what's on my radar: Final book review roundup of 2016 / 2016 by the Numbers / Quick-start budgeting tips for 2017 / 2017 Goals / Things I'm excited about for pregnancy #2 / How to support working moms

Why We Budget

*This post was inspired by a sermon our pastor preached on Luke 19:12-27, The Parable of the Minas. 

I talk frequently on this blog about budgeting, and I have a couple of post ideas specifically concerning budgeting as we approach the end of 2016. It's never too late to start budgeting, and what better time than the New Year to do it! You can find all the posts I've written on the topic of budgeting linked on the "budgeting" tab at the top under "topics."

I've always been frugal, or cheap (what my friends sometimes like to joke with me), but I never seriously budgeted until Jordan and I got married. We have been married 5.5 years and have budgeted the entire time, so it's no longer something we need to think about or discuss. It's just something we do at this point.

Budgeting is important to us for a number of reasons, probably the most obvious being to: 1) get out of debt and stay out of debt and to 2) think about the future so we can maybe eventually retire with a few dollars in our pocket. We paid off my car and student loans years ago. We use a credit card, but we pay the bill in full at the end of each month. (Read more on why we recommend using a credit card in this post.) The only debt we have is our mortgage, and I'll just be honest and tell you that we have a 30-year loan and aren't looking to be able to pay it off anytime soon.

It's a wonderful feeling to not have any debt (other than our house), and staying out of debt is certainly one reason we budget. We take pride in buying things only when we can afford them, because we can pay cash for those items with no buyer's remorse or monthly payment.

It's also a wonderful feeling to know that we are doing as much as we can (even if it's only a little bit) to save for our future. I have a retirement plan through my work that we contribute to, and we have a 529 college fund plan for R that we put a small monthly amount into. It isn't a lot (less than $100 a month), but every little bit helps!

Those are of course part of the reason we budget. But budgeting is hard work, and I'll be honest: sometimes I just want to be able to go out to dinner at a nice restaurant or buy a new sweater or get salmon for dinner instead of chicken again and not immediately start calculating how it will affect our monthly budget. 

I definitely think there's a balance between treating yourself and being intentional with your money, so I'm not saying we never splurge. But what I am saying is that budgeting is not always fun (okay it's really never fun), and sometimes I wonder what it would be like to just buy whatever I want whenever I want it and not even bother looking at the price tag. So why do we do it? Sure, it's great to not be in debt, and it's wise in invest in your future. But that's not the main reason that budgeting is so important to us.

We budget because we believe God has entrusted to us what we have, and we want to be good stewards of it.

Jordan and I pray that we can be good stewards of the money, the possessions, and the people that God has given to us for a short time, and we feel that the best way to do that is to budget so we can intentionally spend and save and make the most out of our resources. I am not trying to suggest that if you're in debt, you're a bad Christian. Nor am I suggesting that God will love you more if you have a lot of money. Neither of those things can be found anywhere in the Bible.

But I do believe that God has given all of us a life and jobs and material wealth, and it is our responsibility to manage those things the best way we can. We are not called to be successful, but we are called to be faithful. Budgeting is what we feel allows us to do that.

Budgeting has provided a way for us to be able to go on a few missions trips over the past couple of years. Jordan and I traveled together with our church to Nicaragua in July 2014, and Jordan went back to Nicaragua in July 2015. Those trips weren't cheap, but we made room in our budget to save throughout the year so that we could have the opportunity to share the Gospel with the people of Nicaragua.

Through budgeting, we make sure that we always have enough money to tithe. I wrote more about that in this post: Why We Tithe.

Through budgeting, we feel confidence and peace being able to have money available to look for ways to share it with those who might need it. I'm not saying I drive around downtown OKC chucking $100 bills out of my open car window at homeless people, but we do try to be open to opportunities to bless others. Knowing that we personally don't have debt and do have a little bit of money to put into savings at the end of each month allows us more freedom to do that. One recent example is the crisis in Syria. We donated to this organization, which is providing food and places to sleep to people fleeing from the crisis in Aleppo. (I know there are a lot of other great places to donate too!)

So that's why we budget. It is of course for the future and for staying out of debt, but we want to it most of all so that we can be good stewards of everything God has given to us. If you have not ever set up a budget and kept track of your finances, now is a great time to start! And if a huge budget sounds too intimidating, I recommend starting small with something like setting a monthly amount of blow money. Read more on that here.

Do you budget? Why or why not?
If you do budget, what is your main goal or reason for budgeting?

Baby Bum #2: Some Deets and Stuff

As we approached R’s first birthday (back in August), Jordan and I discussed when we wanted to start trying to have another baby. We both have three siblings and had talked in the past about wanting at least three, maybe four kids just based on that fact that we like the size of our own immediate families. 

Of course, then I gave birth and said ONE CHILD ONLY KTHANKSBYE. But over time you start thinking maybe having another one doesn’t sound like such a bad idea after all. (Side note, if you haven't read them, you might enjoy my two posts: 10 Reasons Why Running a Marathon is Like Having a Baby and the follow up I wrote after actually giving birth.)

We definitely weren’t ready to start trying at any point before she turned one, but right around August we both felt like maybe we could just sort of “see what happened” in that department if you know what I mean. You may or may not remember that it took over two years to get pregnant with R, and we did end up seeing a fertility doctor for a short time, so we really had no idea how long it would take to get pregnant again, or if we even could.

We are so extremely thankful and blessed that it did not take very much time at all this time around. Truthfully, I was surprised to find out I was pregnant even though we were trying, so it wasn’t entirely unexpected in that sense. (There are kind of a bit more details there but not really something I want to put on the blog. I also want to be sensitive about giving any sort of impression that "It was so easy!" because I know there are many who struggle and are still struggling, and getting pregnant is not certainly easy for so many people. Again, we are very thankful that it did not take as long as it did with R and we do not take that for granted.)

I took a pregnancy test on Monday, October 10, because I threw up. I woke up around 4am that morning and felt super nauseous. I fell back asleep and woke up around the time I was supposed to start getting ready for work and threw up. I felt extremely nauseous and called in sick that day. My mother-in-law drove over and picked up R for me (bless her), and I laid on the couch all day watching The Flash on Netflix and completely unable to sit or stand up without feeling like I wanted to throw up again. I sincerely thought I just had a bug because R and Jordan had both been sick the previous week, but my MIL told me that I should take a pregnancy test to rule it out. I was like, okay but I’m not pregnant.

I did have one of the cheap sticks at home, so I took one around 3pm, once I could sort of move around without wanting to rush to the bathroom. The faintest line showed up, like seriously it was barely even there. So I called Jordan and said that I took a test and it was maybe showing a line but I couldn’t tell. I told him that I was going to the store to get the expensive test that actually said “pregnant” or “not pregnant” and I would take it once he got home from work.

The test had a countdown bar, so it blinked and then held four bars on the screen as it counted down the time until the test was ready. I put the test on the counter and counted down. “One bar down!” “Okay two down!” “Three!” It held the fourth bar, and we both looked at each other.

“Pregnant.”

We immediately did the math backward and realized that October 10 was literally the earliest possible day I could have taken a test and gotten a positive result. To this day, I still don’t know whether the puking that day was honestly due to pregnancy or if I really did have a bug. That Monday was the only time I’ve thrown up during the entire first trimester and the day I felt the most nauseous. It seems way too coincidental, but maybe this baby just wanted to make a grand entrance.

I took a test first thing the next morning (one of the cheap ones), and a line showed up that was a little darker than the one the day before. I called my doctor’s office (I’m going with the same dr as last time!) and scheduled my first appointment for FIVE AND A HALF WEEKS. They said they didn’t need to see me until 8-10 weeks, and I was only 4 at the time. I am not a patient person, and let me tell you waiting that long was painful. All my pregnancy anxiety came rushing back, and I kept imagining all the terrible scenarios in my head, none of which resulted in anything good.

After about a week of literally counting the days until my appointment and wondering how I was ever going to make it through, I realized that I needed to calm down. If the baby was fine, going to the doctor was not going to make it not fine. And if the baby was not fine, it was going to be not fine whether or not I had an appointment. Like I said, I was a pretty anxious pregnant person with R, and I am really trying this time to give my fears to God and not worry as much. Other than doing the things I can do to give this baby the best chance at being healthy (not drinking or smoking, not taking certain medications, etc.), I cannot control my baby’s growth and development. Once I realized that, I felt a lot more at peace to take it day by day and be excited and thankful for each day I got to spend with this baby, no matter how many days that is.

Like I said, I only threw up that one day, but I did feel pretty nauseous off and on for a while. I was still able to eat regularly for the most part, though, and I went through a legitimate craving for Mexican food that lasted about three days, and all I wanted for every meal was tacos.

My main symptom was just that I was so. tired. Like, epic tiredness. We are talking lunch naps every day, in bed by 8 every night, and 2-hour naps on both Saturday and Sunday (I am taking “when the baby sleeps, you sleep” to heart, people). Lately I do feel like I’m getting some of my energy back, but naps are still a beloved part of my weekends and lunch hours.

I will be 13 weeks on Friday and have my second appointment next Wednesday (after waiting another 5 weeks since my last one!). I always start to get a bit anxious leading up to my next appointment, and we are continuing to pray for a healthy baby! Thanks again for all your excitement. We feel very blessed and are excited to add another little member to our family, and if everything looks good next week I will be on my way to the second trimester. Woo!

Just for fun, here's a comparison of Baby Bum #1 (that would be R) --> Baby Bum #2, both at 12 weeks. When they say you show earlier with your second baby, they were not kidding! I literally did not look this big with R until 17-18 weeks. Send help. And stretch mark cream.