10 Things I'm Afraid to Tell You

Earlier this week I read this post, which linked to this post. Apparently there's a blogging thing going around. I missed it, as usual--I'm often behind.

For some reason, the idea of writing a post with some confessions immediately appealed to me. This is partly because I feel dry of interesting blogging material at the moment and partly because of this video I watched yesterday, which has been on my mind and heart ever since.

On this blog I write about all sorts of funny happenings, and I post pretty pictures. 

But my life isn't always funny, and it doesn't look pretty all the time.
{I've probably been the most honest about this here.}

It's Thursday, May 10. 

My 1-year wedding anniversary is in exactly 4 days.

My 26th birthday is in exactly 2 months.

And here are 10:

{these are in no particular order}

1. I hate my skin. It's better now, but I still struggle with it (and seriously envy Jordan's smooth skin). Before my wedding, I went to the dermatologist because I refused to walk down the aisle looking like I had chicken pox. But during my four years of college and the three years since, I refused to let anyone get near my face. I recoiled if anyone tried to touch it, and it became a habit to pull my sweatshirt up over my chin so people couldn't see the acne.

2. I worry about getting fat. I notice myself getting anxious about it if I haven't gone running or done some type of exercise in four or five days. Then I head out for a 4-mile run or do a Jillian Michaels video, and I eat an entire gallon of Breyer's mint chocolate chip ice cream (because it's the BEST), and all is right with the world--at least for the next four days. (I should add that I enjoy working out, so it's not like it's something I have to force myself to do. But when I don't do it, I start feeling frumpy.)

3. I wish I had more money. Jordan and I are extremely blessed. We have much, much more than enough. But I still have to daily fight down that twinge of jealousy when I visit someone who lives in a bigger house than I do or has fancier clothes than me. The past year of consistent tithing has really been wonderful in helping me think about "my" money as not mine at all but God's. I need to care less about "stuff."

4. I love Jesus. This obviously isn't any kind of dark confession, and it's certainly not a bad thing. I know I've talked about church and God on this blog before, but just in case there was any confusion: I love Jesus. Am I the perfect Christian? No. But I love going to church and playing the violin in the worship band. Oh, and I listen to KLove. That's right.

5. My dream is to be a freelance editor. No 9-5. No set schedule. Just me editing books. My secret hope (not-so-secret now, I guess) is that someone will find me via this blog and my monthly writing tips, and that will launch my freelance career. 

6. I used to scoff at cheesy pet names. But here's the truth: I love that Jordan calls me "babe." I remember exactly where we were the first time he ever said it (driving in his truck on the way to a softball game). It gave me goose bumps. That might be when I realized I loved him. (Okay, I totally made that last part up, but it could be true.)

7. I hate how competitive I am. Just once I want to play a game and not get upset if I lose.

8. I wish I were a faster runner.

9. Pinterest stresses me out. So much creativity in one place.

10. And last but not least is this dear blog of mine. I've been writing for almost 2 years now, and I love it. But I'm not going to lie: I wish I had more followers. I know that's silly. Who cares how many followers I have? The people who read this blog want to read it, and do I really want people "following" who don't even read? The obvious answer is no. Still, I can't help but see people with thousands of followers who get hundreds of comments, and I wish that were me. But then I realize that if I did have thousands of followers, that would be a lot of pressure, and I don't know if I'm ready for that yet. I am thankful for this creative outlet and the faithful friends who comment and read everything (you know who you are). (Shout out to Audra, follower/commenter/supporter from the beginning.)

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So that's a few things about me you probably didn't know.

And I've just decided to write a follow-up post titled:

10 Things I Like About Myself/My Life

Because for every thing I wish I had or wish I did better, 

I have five more blessings I could name.

And those are important to recognize too. 

I might make it a link-up (since I know how to do those now).

Stay tuned.

And thanks for reading. 

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{I'm going to tack on a shameless plug for my new weekly photography linkup: 
Alphabet Scavenger Hunt. 
You can link up until tomorrow with an A here. Or come back on Monday with a B!}